The Poet

The Poet

My 2016 truths & 9 years sober by Adrienne S DeLeon ©2017

Working on myself......
It’s a necessity.    I confess
I used to think differently.
But the universe humbled me
here
over and over and over again
till underwater
gasping for air
I got there was no way
I was going to make it
if I didn’t start looking at me.
But I didn’t much care for myself
Honestly.
And so the idea of healing just for me
was beyond uninteresting
and literally had no traction in my system.
I wasn’t sure I had any reason during those dark days.
I wasn’t sure I wanted to be here anymore.
I was dancing with dying
But then someone said to me,
When I heal
I help others heal
and if I heal
I can help others heal.
And I remember running
from the meeting room
into the bathroom
black tears streaming down my face
as my eyeliner
mixed with my first taste of hope
in years.
I wish I knew her name
the woman who said this to me
I wish I could find her
and thank her
Because she opened the door
that gave my life back to me
She gave me a purpose
a reason to heal
and for years I have lived on
the possibility
that someday
not only would I get out
I would help other women
get out.
I have been so consumed
these last 9 years
healing ruthlessly
repairing my body
reclaiming my mind
soothing my heart
feeding my soul.
I think I forgot to realize
that I am
now living within my skin.
And that is just
the very sweetest feeling
I would want for everyone.
But first we heal for us,
and every woman
before us
and after
us.......

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